Hair, Remedy

Static Noodles | Nouilles Statique

Which one of you enjoys static in your hair? Show of hands, please…going once…twice…

Clearly, ’tis still the season. I’ve had at least three of you, my darling Facebook friends, discussing on your status bar how much you loathe your dry head noodles flowing with charged current.

Without resorting to scalping and other equally enjoyable sensations, there are precautionary measures I can personally recommend:

  • leave-in conditioner, though it will weigh your hair down while static will not attack
  • regularly deep condition your hair – warm olive oil, massage into scalp and hair, shower cap it, hold at least two hours, wash off
  • spray your brush/hat with anti-static spray
  • don’t use products that contain alcohol – these will dry your hair even more causing more violence in the world
  • you can resort to rubbing fabric dryer sheets all over your dome as many times as you need to
  • after lubing up your hands with lotion – run your fingers through the hair to catch traces of moisture

Following at least one of those brilliant remedies will lead to a more productive, healthy path down the road of winter freezingballs that a lot of you are brave enough to endure – I quit.

And if you’re living in a climate not unlike my own where freezing temperatures are in the lower 60s, you can practice by rubbing ballons on yours or your cat’s noggen.


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