Eyes, Lashes, Lips, Makeup

Stay, Valentine! | Tenez, la Saint-Valentin!

Today’s the day that many of you will get f̶u̶c̶k̶e̶d̶ laid, cry or indulge in stuffing of the a̶n̶a̶l̶ oral cavity. Sounds like a typical Tuesday for some of you, doesn’t it?

Either way, which ever cavity you prefer you get stuffed in or produce liquid out of, you’ll need waterproof/long-lasting tools to still look pretty  i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ at the finish line.

Hands down, Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid and Smudge Stick Waterproof liners are the bee’s knees. The liquid is so waterproof – you’ll need a Brillo pad to scrub it off. And the smudge stick won’t tug the skin like the other creepy perpetrators. L̶e̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶u̶g̶g̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶u̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶a̶b̶l̶e̶.̶

Lancome Definicils High Definition Waterproof mascara won’t budge even if you h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶g̶a̶g̶ ̶r̶e̶f̶l̶e̶x̶ get dumped on this special day by your one and only true love or you’re just, plain hormonal. Si triste.

Yummy NARS lipstick will moisturize whilst attaching it’s sexy, bad self to your lippers. Feel free to g̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶d̶ ̶v̶i̶g̶o̶r̶o̶u̶s̶l̶y̶ eat what ever you like and test the staying power for yourself. Try these sexy shades: Afghan Red, Heat Wave, Jungle Red and Manhunt.

What am I doing today? Same thing I do every day – WORKING. I get my sexin’ on holiday or not. Pfft.

Evil, Eyes, Hygiene, Makeup, Remedy

Makeup Remover | Démaquillant

I am so sick and tired of cleaning up your mess!

Astronomical numbers are logged in for the amount of times I’ve had to clean makeup residue gunk off of lids in order to start fresh.

Ya’ll are not looking in the mirror close enough or not interested in trying or just plain sadistic…either way it doesn’t ease the pain you put me through each and every time.

Perhaps your culprits are waterproof mascaras and pencils. Perhaps you don’t allow your face to touch anything else but agua. Perhaps you find that heroin-chic-grunge-look appealing. Perhaps you haven’t found a proper way to efface last night’s party off your visage.

Just so we’re clear – I’m not angry, just disappointed.

Here are my favourites:




If you need a makeup remover for dummies try:

Johnson's Baby Oil

And always use something gentle like cotton balls/pads:

  • Refrain from using anything waterproof unless you’re headed for the beach/pool or if you are en route to performing a dramatic scene in your acting class.
  • Do not use force when cleansing any part of your face – utilize your ring finger as much as possible around the eyes as it is the least pressured of your digits.
  • Make sure to bring me a bottle of red wine or anything from American Apparel if you know you’re set for the dog house. 😛