Body, Grooming, Health, Hygiene, Moi

Vagina doesn’t REALLY rhyme with anything.

Nobody likes a stinky pink.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve vomited in my mouth from clients who sit in my makeup chair, legs spread eagle, radiating musty-basement-full-of-dead-fish from their tacos. Sweet Geezeus.

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For the love of breathing to stay alive, please take care of your lady bits!

When I was a kid [and only a few inches shorter] we lived in Kiev, Ukraine and I predominantly stayed at my grandparents’ house. They had a room with a toilet next to a room with a sink and tub. Communism, baby!

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Mum and I back in Kiev right before we fucked off across the pond. This is a clean-vagina face.

In that little room with a toilet my mum and grandmother taught me hygiene. To an extreme.

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Babushka and I circa twenty years ago.

We had this frosted white plastic cup that I was taught to fill with warm water [in the bathing room next door] prior to peeing to be used post peeing, like a ghetto bidet. This was the cornerstone of my many psychoses OCD moments.

Without getting into the evolution of my hygienic practices, you better believe I keep my vagina clean and pretty. Needless to say I always carry baby wipes in my purse.

I’ve recently discovered SebaMed Feminine Intimate Wash that is an organic gel and mimics your body’s natural pH. This stuff smells delicious and the soap-free formula won’t strip you of the gooey good stuff. Squeeze a drop or two onto a washcloth, massage your bikini part and wash away. Voila! Happy pussy.

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They also make products for hair, face and body!

Then, there’s this other new sexy company that makes sexy products without any fake additives. Good Clean Love has a lube that is aloe vera based, 100% natural/organic, edible, safe for knocked up ladies, and simulates natural lubrication like a champ. Ding! Sexy time.

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Also comes in flavours like lavender and cinnamon vanilla. Can you say yum?

And then I have this friend called Hana Lash. Hana is not only a hottie-boombalattie and talented musician/performer, but has recently launched an Etsy shop with the most original vagina cards you ever did see. There’s one for every occasion and they are fucking brilliant. Please buy me some [please include the Bundle Up necklace too]!

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Current status of my vagina: undergoing laser treatment at the Hot Spot Laser Center in Pasadena. Best husband in the world got me the wedding gift that keeps on giving – 6 sessions of Brazilian baldness. Cue angels singing. This place is awesome and ran by two adorable sisters, Marine and Narine, who don’t have a website [gasp] and don’t advertise [double gasp] but kick serious ass when it comes to ridding of unwanted sprouts. It says something about a business when you’re overbooked just by results and word of mouth.

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Stay classy, ladies and wash that snatch! Singeing nose hairs has never been in.

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Body, Food, Health

Cleanse you CAN.

It’s been a while, girls and boys. And now that the fall issue of Bisous has launched and I am *wed we can be friends again.

Before hopping back into everything that is beautiful, I want to start from the inside out!

Now, I’ve done all kinds of cleanses in the past. Everything from fasting, which I’ll never do again unless I medically need to, to powder form, to you name it. All of them were tolerable. All of them did something towards the end that was positive in some way. All of them appreciated.

And life was good. Until life became superb…

Behold, the CAN CAN CLEANSE!

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Never ever EVER have I dreamed of a cleanse being delicious. Nutritious? Yes. Delicious? Never.

Here is how the story went:

On Wednesday I happen to see a Tweet from the beautiful Kat Odell [Editor at Eater LA and star of Eat, Drink, Love on Bravo].

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On Thursday I arrange a drop off for the following day.

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At 8:30AM on a Friday an adorable Teresa, the creator, came to my door with a smile on her face and a bag full of gorgeous glass jars filled with magic. The very next day I gave these fancy jars a whirl.

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1-day Power Cleanse Schedule

I did a one day Power cleanse, though the options range from 1 to 3 to 5 days. As you can see each jar contains juices, milks, a soup and a tea (you can divide into two cups). Even more amazing – they’re seasonal! Each one was better than the other, I never felt hungry once and looked forward to discovering new flavors as the day went on. Did I mention I had tons of energy?

Woke up and did the crunchy chia juice, had the nut milk [o my god the flavours] in the car on my way to a shoot, a yummy green juice at the shoot, left the to-die-for soup in the car to warm up by the time I was done with the shoot, came home to a refreshing watermelon juice, walked around the neighborhood with all of my excess energy then came home and pounded another green juice, caught up on some friend time with the vanilla nut milk in hand and rested with two delicious cups of warm tea whilst reading the upcoming Palahniuk novel. For. The. Win.

Shame I only did the one day.

Whether you’re a cleanse aficionado or virgin, you should want nothing more than to experience this life changing cleanse. I can honestly say I’ll never touch another chalky detox again.

You can find out all you need to know here: http://cancancleanse.com/

P.S. I chose to reuse the beautiful jars…

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Pickled serrano chiles.

*Tune in tomorrow for the juicy details of my wedding/s!
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