Eyes, Grooming, Hair, Lips, Makeup, Moi, Skin

I got Racked.

If you haven’t already been bombarded with this – there is no escape.

Last week I was featured on Racked LA as a “Glam Pro”. This is kind of a big deal and I’d love it if you checked it out. After all – there is no such thing as bad publicity, right?

I’ll make it worth your while with all the product recommends and an exfoliant recipe you can make in your home because you already have the ingredients. Swearsies!

Here’s a little taste…

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The photographer, Elizabeth Daniels, and I had a little too much fun at Naimie’s that day. Now she’s got a whole new beauty regime and I’m super excited about it.

Special thanks to Natalie de Groot for giving me a shirt from her new line, Nat+J, for the shoot.

And, of course, big love to Kat Odell for whoring me. ♥

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BB Cream, Beauty, Bisous, Body, Hair, Lashes, Lips, Makeup, Skin

I married the same man twice. Part II.

And then, less than two months later our wed-cation dreams came to fruition.

All we wanted was an intimate evening on the beach, at sunset, on the night of a full moon, with our closest. No frills. This we received.

We found the most incredible location on an island called Eleuthera in the Bahamas. Think hot tub temperature ocean and sand that feels like powdered sugar under your feet. Think smiling faces every day. Think fresh seafood off the fisherman’s boat at 2pm daily. Think driving around with a beer in hand [legally]. Think paradise.

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Eleuthera is 100mi long and only 1.5mi wide.

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Our backyard. That little white sign says “private property” – we had 70 acres of privacy!

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Our home for the week.

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Governor’s Harbour at night.

Friends and family came from all over and everyone got along. We pushed everyone to enjoy their time on the island however they saw fit. There were no rules. There were no schedules. We’d explore the island by day and relax by the pool at night with a local Bahamian coconut rum [that I smuggled two bottles of on the way home] in hand.

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The view from “Club Pool” at night.

The wedding was on a Tuesday. Some people showed up to swim and hang on our beach during the day. Some people cooked. Some people drank. Some people helped with decorations.

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Mammaries…

Around 7pm everyone walked down to the beach and awaited our entrance. We came right on time and began the ceremony, once again, led by Master Hooker. Everyone contributed a word they would use to describe us. Then Josh and I exchanged our words of love to each other. Then Hooker introduced us to a Bahamian wedding tradition of Josh and I filling half a cup of sand and pooling it into one. It was perfect. Everyone was tear faced and laughing.

Getting his ring on

Had some issues putting on the ring.

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Our mothers.

GROUP BAHAMAS WEDDING

Everyone and the moon.

We asked all of our guests to contribute a dish for the evening as everyone we invited is an excellent cook and the one person that wasn’t a foodie turned out to be the best mixologist any of us could have hoped for. Viva de piña colada by the pitcher [pineapple free for me, please]! We even had THREE wedding cakes instead of just one. Everyone was in a food coma.

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Renee made this with Angela’s and Jenn’s accessories. Stars are Josh’s and my theme for life.

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He started it.

After the food we moved onto “Club Pool” and danced in and out of water and set off sky lanterns with wishes of the future. Our incredible guests made sure everything was perfect and that we were happy. Couldn’t have asked for anything more. We, again, are very lucky bitches.

It’s time, once again, for products!

COMODYNES BB CREAM

Comodynes BB cream to even out.

Lash Republic beautiful lashes were my wedding outfit staple

Lashes by Lash Republic – whoa.

Yves Rocher Waterproof Mascara didn't budge once in the countles times I cried of joy

Yves Rocher Waterproof Mascara didn’t budge once in the countless times I cried of joy.

manna kadar shimmer

Manna Kadar shimmer lotion all over.

makeup-forever-aqua-rouge-

Make Up Forever Aqua Rouge Red – because it doesn’t come off on ANYTHING. Makeout guilt-free.

Oribe Supershine Moisturizing Cream hydrated my locks after all the salt lashings of the ocean

Oribe Supershine Moisturizing Cream hydrated my locks after all the salt lashings of the ocean.

And now you know.

Here are some more pictures because you deserve to see them…

bahamas rings

Our rings together.

Front of our house

Just scootin’ around!

Harbour Island, Eleuthera

Harbour Island.

Bridesmaids

My girls.

Island girl

Island love.

love

Married!

For more story and products – check out this season’s Bisous Magazine!

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Food, Remedy, Skin

Stomach to Skin | Estomac à la Peau

Just popping in to list a few foods your skin and belly appreciate…

For all skins:

  • cherries
  • citrus fruits
  • walnuts
  • dates
  • black soybeans

For dry skins:

  • avocados
  • coconut oil
  • sesame oil
  • flaxseed
  • pine nuts
  • hazelnuts
  • sunflower seeds

For oily skins/acne prone:

  • papaya
  • pineapple
  • carrots
  • broccoli
  • brown rice
  • oats

Dark circles:

  • Asian pear
  • spinach

Hair and nails:

  • onions
  • sea veggies
  • eggs
  • salmon
  • garlic

 

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Hygiene, Men, Skin

Man Flesh | Chair de l’homme

Man flesh, not unlike our own, deserves special care. Not to be confused with special needs, in a short bus sort of way.

I mentioned, some entries back, about my loathing for the coined “metrosexual” term. How it scares off most phallus owning bipeds. Because of this horrid name our boyfriends, husbands, dads, brothers, cousins and friends rejected the concept of grooming…in more sense of the word than soap-shaving gel-hairbrush, if that.

At any rate, this memorandum concerns you.

You can find Nivea, L’Oreal, and Every Man Jack at your local drugstore like Walgreens. I’m listing one product from each line to introduce you to the name, it is up to you to shop around and pick and chose what your skin likes best. (Same goes for the rest of the mentioned goodies.)

Please remember, sunblock is your friend. The Marlborough tan and wrinkles are so not in this season.

And if shopping for skin products at a store where ladies buy products they stick up their hoohaas reminds you of your teen years: sweat-soaked brows, shaky hands and gnarly pit stains – online shopping is fast and discreet! Sephora carries a vast selection of starter kits from which you can begin your most excellent journey to the land of skin care connoisseurism!

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Hygiene, Men, Remedy, Skin

For Erica | Pour Erica…

I got a chain of text messages yesterday from a friend who had found a cure for blemishes/acne: SPERM!

Say WHAT!?

Yes, my lovelies, you read that correctly. Please do not re-adjust the dials on your screen as I am talking about man goo. Penile pollen. Man milk. Love butter. Baby batter. Spooge. Spunk that she and her beau alike plaster their faces with to get rid of redness and irritation.

Naturally I had to investigate this phenomenon. (Get your mind out of the gutter – I did it through the world wide web.)

Through some diligent research I have found some pret-ty inneressin’ things. Ready?

  • semen contains Vitamin C, a detoxifier, and antioxidants
  • sperm is rich in protein
  • seminal fluid contains vitamins and fructose

Vitamin C + antioxidants + protein + fructose = ingredients in skin care (acne) products!

There are even spas in New York that offer “Spermine Facials” that can cost up to $250.

This gooey mask firms and gives the sensation of tightening as it dries. Must be washed off with a mild product. Some victims report glowing results and the exile of unwanted textures.

If you’re strapped for cash, I suggest investing in a boyfriend or a boy friend who is comfortable with handing off his goodies for an effervescent cause of beauty. Though I should warn you to be careful when asking for a facial – it may bring up frat boy fantasies and in turn become a dangerous habit.

You may also be a squeamish squirt and disgusted by even the slightest thought of this formula, in which case I suggest selling some of your possessions to invest in a trip to the pee pee spas.

Otherwise – stick to skin care that is already available on the market and to this blog for homeopathic remedies that do not require digital handy works. 🙂

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Beauty, Moi, Skin

My Beauty Ritual | Mon rituel de beauté

I take my beauty ritual very seriously.

My grandmother, even on her last days and at 75 years old, had not one wrinkle! Although the only makeup she wore was red lipstick, the woman was notorious for her skin care. Coming from the old days in the motherland (Ukraine), she washed with soap. Sometimes a few times a day. She didn’t use anything but cocoa/shea butter on her face and jojoba oil for her body. She also didn’t have much body hair, this I always envied the most.

My mother is another case – no one has ever guessed her age. Young men still approach her to this day with romantic inclinations having no clue she could really be their mum! She, like her mother, is attached to one cosmetic item – black liquid liner, and never leaves the house without it. Since as long as I can remember Mama has had an array of face and body creams scattered around her vanity. As a child I began to mimic her femininity by trying out products that would also preserve my skin.

And so it began. In grade school I knew every drugstore beauty product and was a thorough guide to my friends. In middle school I picked up girlie magazines and flipped through to the beauty section to find tips and tricks in order to bestow my newfound knowledge onto my classmates. In high school I began to experiment with makeup. Mostly in science class. Mostly on whoever would allow me to paint their face before the teacher noticed. Sorry, Mr. Beeftink!

Now I easily experiment with skin care lines and definitely have my favourites, ranging high to low cost: La Mer, Sisley Sisleya, StriVectin, Orlane, Lumene, Nivea, Bioré and Oil of Olay for Sensitive Skin.

As soon as I step out of the shower I tone with vinegar/water concoction, massage any fine lines with StriVectinSD, then slather the rest of my face with one of the above mentioned moisturizers (from hairline down to the décolleté). It is important to lock in moisture with product, so please don’t wait around too long.

I will now reveal my deep dark secret: I don’t always take off my makeup before I go to bed. Cue gasp. Yes, I know bad Annah, BAD! My excuse: boyfriend’s chest is evil and has perfected its Vulcan sleeper hold on me. Thus, Joshua, I blame you.

This doesn’t mean you should get a boyfriend like mine and hold him accountable for your skin mishaps. This means don’t follow in my footsteps and wash your face off every night as if your life depended on it. Because your skin depends on it. Be it cold cream, makeup remover or baby oil. Just. Do. It.

Lastly, for faces I work on I mix foundation/concealer with moisturizer, but on myself I put on foundation immediately after my face is still damp with product. This way, even if I don’t know the kind of makeup I’ll be wearing for the day – this mixture acts as a tinted moisturizer base that doesn’t move around throughout the hectic schedule I am allotted.

I’m 28. The worst name I’ve been called lately is 24. I still get carded. Everywhere. Including R movies. True story.

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Remedy, Skin

Dilated Pores | Pores dilatés

You are the all-singing, all-dancing pores of the world!

This is not something to be overlooked.

Pores are delicate and if you don’t tend to them with care – they can turn on you and raise hell. Let’s prevent this:

  1. mix egg whites (raw) and lemon juice
  2. warm slightly and apply cooled paste onto skin for 10 minutes
  3. was with cold water
  1. mix equal parts apple cider vinegar and water
  2. apply with a cotton ball onto face
  3. rinse or apply moisturizer after

These ingredients work great to reduce pores on their own:

  • ice (shrinks and minimizes) or cold water
  • tomato pulp
  • papaya
  • honey
  • apple cider vinegar
  • almond oil

I’m also a huge fan of Bioré pore strips. HUGE fan. They are extremely easy to use, will not put a dent in your wallet and can be found at nearly any drug store.

I’ve recommended this product to girls and guys alike because everyone can benefit from it. Clean/tight pores prevent build up and breakouts in addition to keeping your skin looking revived and luminous.

SHINE!

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